Today my mom took Melody home with her. Grammie lives one and a half hours away. Since Melody turned two, she frequently spends one or two nights there. Tonight I called to chat with her before bedtime. She had a limited amount of time to talk to me because she was making s'mores over the stovetop with grandad!
When Melody is gone, Leah and I have a great time together. Our relationship changes. It is simple, easy and fun. Melody demands my undivided attention all day long, and Leah tends to be in the background. I struggle to give them both what they need and by the end of the day I'm exhausted and they still want more, more, more of me. In having just Leah for a day or two, it's easier. Today we played and played and played. We enjoyed the warm, windy, spring afternoon by swinging high and throwing rocks in the creek behind the house. She jabbered away at me. Her baby words are softly spoken compared to Melody's boisterous ongoing stories. It was so much fun to laugh and converse with Leah and have no toddler interruptions, tantrums, discipline, or fussing. (And at the same exact time, I'm totally thinking about Melody and missing her and wondering how she is doing.)
I know I want to have more babies. (Adopted or biological, I'm not sure.) There are days when I think I'm ready to add a third child. Then I think of Leah and her struggle to be heard, seen, held. The idea of waiting a few more months or a year or two is appealing. Perhaps we'll wait awhile and have two more who are close in age. Two boys, perhaps? (From Sudan, perhaps?) By then, I'm sure Leah will have plenty to say on the subject.