I am feeling discouraged today. Life is suddenly overwhelming. The majority of my angst is related to Melody. We have been at odds with each other for several days in a row and it's wearing me out. My times with her are either wonderful or terrible. One second she is whining for me to hold her, "Mommy, you haven't holded me yet." The next moment she acts as if she wants me to leave her alone. I can't win. Until now my instincts have served me well. This is the first time I feel at a total loss as a mom.

In other news, one of my closest friends is in labor! Laura and Neil are expecting their first baby and she will arrive any time today! I got the call that she was in labor this morning and ever since I've felt emotional and excited and nervous.

1 comment:

Kelli said...

I feel discouraged with Eli a lot these days. I think he's suffering from the same thing that Melody is...only, what?, 2 yrs. earlier? He does ok if I'm "out of sight/sound"...but that can only happen for so long before my "mom worries" take over and I have to check on him - make sure he's not chocking on something. (The least I could do, right?!) Anyway, as soon as I'm around, he suddenly is "bored" and follows me around the house wanting me to hold him. If I thought it was the attention he needed than I wouldn't be so frustrated. But I'm pretty sure he's just using me for my height and mobility. Once in my arms he immediately starts pointing to things around the room that he wants to explore. Mostly these things are not baby-friendly. So, we too do better when we're out of the house. Ever since my return from Berkeley I've been much more motivated to "get out" even if it's just to wal-mart. But it really is super draining to be whined at all day. I'm really finding out how short my temper is.