a new phase

I remember when Melody was born. The first two years after, trying it figure out what kind of mom I was. What bothered me? What did I love? What did I stand for? Who was I?

After awhile it fell into place. I hit a groove. I embraced it. It was easy and good.

The other day I was holding Logan, standing in his room, swaying and humming. He was relaxed against me. We were both soaking each other in. It felt SO GOOD. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and I thought, "I know how to do this. I know how to be mama to a baby."

I am at a new cross road as a mom. I have a six year old. School age. What kind of mom am I? What kind of education do I subscribe to? What is important to me? What do I expect? What do I want? I don't know yet. I am waiting; trying to figure it out.