new dishes!

My friend Hannah is getting rid of a bunch of stuff. She had accumulated 16 sets of Fiesta Ware in various colors. She decided to keep the blues and greens and get rid of the brighter ones. She mentioned it to me and I flipped out. I've always loved Fiesta Ware. When Chad and I were engaged we thought we would live overseas doing mission work. Because of this we did not register for very much stuff. In the past seven years I've used a variety of plates from Target and flea markets, none of which matched. I didn't let it bother me, but once this Fiesta Ware became available, I got excited.

Here are some of the pieces Hannah gave me.



This is my favorite piece for a few reasons. 1) I love serving coffee and this piece will make that task all the more fun. 2) It's kinda of splurge piece that I would never actually purchase. Plates, mugs, bowls are essential... this piece is extra. 3). The slate blue/grey color is my favorite of all the pieces I received.



Hannah, I've said it about 77 times, but I have to say it again, THANK YOU!!!

coloring

Coloring is an activity we do a lot in our house. As a child coloring was my absolute favorite activity. I used to beg my parents to color with me. Now I am 31 years old and I still enjoy coloring. I've found an easy way to color with the girls that works well for us. I use the following: crayons (all types), easel paper (mine is Melissa & Doug brand), tape and scissors. I unroll and large piece of easel paper and tape it to the table. Melody sits on her knees and Leah uses a booster seat. Next I draw an assortment of easy shapes and objects on the paper, usually with a dark crayon or a black marker. I like to draw kites, hearts, rainbows, trees, flowers, triangles, circles, balloons, stars, letters, words, houses, etc. Usually Melody ends up ordering me, "Make a big triangle! Now make a little heart. Now make a M for Melody!!!! And a L for Leah!!!"



Leah just began to color with Melody. It has been fun to include her in the art times. I laugh because half of the time she isn't looking at what she's doing with the crayon. Instead she's looking me, smiling, while her little arm moves back and forth with the lightest pressure. I give her a dark color in order for anything to show up on the paper. Otherwise she fusses because it's not working.



Melody will color for 30 minutes to a hour when she is in the groove. She has started attempting to stay in the lines with no prompting from me. It does not matter to me if she stays in the lines. Occasionally she stays outside of the lines, making a cool negative image of the object drawn. The table she sits at is right in the kitchen, so often I'm able to cook or clean while she works. Playing music helps her stay in the mode I think. Lately we enjoy listening to Waterdeep and The Cranberries. There is nothing sweeter than humming to the music as we're together and in our own right brained worlds. This last picture is some of Melody's recent work.

why did I do that?

Today while the girls napped I ate ice cream and watched 30 Rock on DVD. I ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's. I just kept going. (Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. MMM.) Then I calculated the calories and fat grams.

Grand total: 1120 calories & 61 grams of fat.
IN TWENTY MINUTES.

I've felt defeated, gross, mad, guilty, frustrated, trapped, weak, shameful, angry, and fat for six hours.

stages of life

Before the girls woke up this morning I skimmed my blog archives from 2003 & 2004. I read of feelings and events about which I had forgotten. For instance, what it was like to work full time. These posts lamented and glorified my job as a graphic designer. One of the most frequent subjects of the writings was the desire I had for a baby. When coworkers would have a baby, I'd cry with joy and sadness. Joy for the new life; sadness that it wasn't my own baby.

By midmorning today I was hot, sticky, tired, and frazzled with Melody and Leah. I began longing for the work days again. I stopped myself from sinking into a greener grass daydream. I held onto the memory of wanting babies when I didn't have them. It was a tug of war day.

Stage Of Life is a topic often discussed among moms. We sometimes feel stuck in the hard places of motherhood. I recall three years ago... My friend Britni had a baby who would cry at the top of his lungs the whole time they were in the car. She said with despair, "I will never be able to drive (30 minutes) to Fayetteville again." A more seasoned mom gently replied, "For now, for now, Britni. Eventually you will go to Fayetteville again." She was right. Now Britni's son is a three and a half year old. He is pretty chilled out most of the time.

It's so important to have people in our lives who remind us to stop and enjoy the stage of life we're in. For me, each stage of my adult life has been difficult, challenging, fun, rewarding, and fairly temporary. The difficulties and challenges are what make me a better person. And the fun and rewarding aspects are what get me through the hard days. Perhaps the most important thing is that each life stage is temporary.

7:30am

Monday morning. I was sorting dry black beans in an attempt to be thrifty...

girls night out

Last night I went to see the Sex in the City movie with two girlfriends. It was opening night, something I've never experience before. We bought our tickets earlier in the day and then went to the last showing at 10:30pm. It was a long movie, so I didn't get home until 2:00am! I have not stayed up that late in ages.

This morning I've been thinking about the movie and trying to decide if I liked it or not. I discovered the HBO show, Sex in the City, after Melody was born. I was a new stay at home mom, struggling with postpartum depression. The show was an escape for me. I liken it to eating lots of Ben & Jerry's ice cream... not necessarily good for me, but fun. I loved the city aspect of the stories. I enjoyed watching Carrie's addiction to shoes, even though I've never owned a pair of heels. In fact, I might have been the only person in the theater last night wearing flipflops. I've never seen so many women trying to be trendy. Me? I had on a pair of Gap bermuda shorts and a Target t-shirt. I ate berry flavored chewy lifesavers as I dreamed of being as skinny as the movie stars.

The movie's story was not as smart or funny as the show. Also, Big's character was not true to show. Maybe he had a change of heart in the past four years. To me, he was annoying and noncommittal in the show. In the movie he was sweet and doting. I felt like Charlotte didn't have much of a place in the story. Her adopted Chinese daughter was a cute subplot, but it annoyed me that she was present during a lot of the dialog scenes with the four friends. Samatha's story was boring. Miranda was true to the old show, and I liked the interaction between her and Carrie the most. The Valentine's Day restaurant scene was one of my favorites. I also like the scene when Carrie hit Big with her bouquet of flowers in the middle of the street.

It was a fun movie to see on the big screen, but the story line was not a strong as the episodes from HBO.

house pictures

I have decided to share some photos of my house. I love it when people post their house pictures; especially when they are people who I have never visited. A person's home can tell a lot about who they are. One of my ongoing goals in life is to make my home a place I enjoy to be. It is a slow process. I buy most of my stuff cheap cheap cheap. We rarely purchase new things. I love garage sales. Stores that inspire me are Restoration Hardware, Pier 1 Imports, Anthropologie, Pottery Barn Kids, and Land of Nod. I also enjoy the following magazines - Real Simple, Cottage Living, Domino and Blueprint. I am not one to adhere to a certain style. I've always enjoyed bright colors. From an early age I had a vision of using neutral pieces of furniture and accenting with bright bold colors. I remember laying in bed at night (in junior high) and dreaming of a room/house with these ingredients. It boggles my mind that I am seeing the fruition of those thoughts now at age 31. Here are a the main living areas of my house:

romantic at three

The other day Chad noticed Melody staring up at our wedding pictures in the entry way. The following conversation occurred:


Chad: "Do you know who that is?"

Melody: "I don't know."

Chad: "That is your mommy. She has on a pretty dress. All these pictures are of our wedding, when we got married."

Melody: "She looks pretty. I wish I could have got married."


And so it begins.


[Also said by Melody, at the end of Cinderella: "Aww, Cinderella found her daddy (the prince)."]

days of old

Lately I've been organizing the desk in the playroom/office. Today I happened upon a journal of inspirational clippings kept during my time at DaySpring as a greeting card designer. I sat on the primary colored puzzle mats and began flipping pages. Career memories flooded my mind. I recalled research trips with talented coworkers. We'd travel to big cities and spend 10 hours a day on our feet, browsing the best paper shops, card shops, gift shops, and inspiring destinations. Once we went to the Dallas Botanical Gardens and spent the afternoon comparing color schemes found in nature. Following these outings we would collapse at a restaurant and discuss our findings. We'd explore ways of bringing the creativity to our card designs. Those trips were heaven.

As I flipped through the pages of the creative journal I found some artwork that caught my eye. Then I saw my name next to it. It was something I had created myself! I didn't remember making it; I'm so glad I jotted my name down as I worked. I thought to myself, "Wow. I did that?" It felt really good.

These work events occurred about four, five & six years ago. Among the clippings was a loose piece of paper. It was a letter I wrote to a friend from college. (I'm notorious for writing letters and never sending them. Sorry, friends.) In the letter I reminisced about our college years. There I was in the midst of a creative fun job, and I was thinking the time four years before. Part of the letter read:

Oh Lord, you're beautiful.
Your face is all I seek.
For when your eyes are on this child.
Your grace abounds to me.

I'm listening to these words right now. They bring back a flood of feelings and memories from JBU chapel days. Back when my heart was full of longing for Jesus. I remember the Dry Gultch fall retreats; pastor Keena speaking about "doing what we're created to do;" singing hymns in the back of the cathedral, surrounded by others' voices so full of passion and force; leaving that big building with a burning deep inside my chest; longing for more of Jesus, to love Him so strong forever.

It's really too much for me to express; how much those days meant to me. It was like I was in the desert every day of my life until John Brown University. And there I found the water that made me blossom and grow. My time at JBU was the highlight of my life. There was so much new hope. I wouldn't trade it ever.

Today's discovery of my JBU letter and my DaySpring journal was a pleasant reminder. I'm thankful for both of these experiences. They shaped me into the person I've become.

happy mothers day to me

We left the local, artsy, quality, hip, unique restaurant with full bellies and happy kids. We strolled the few blocks to the car, passing flowers, homes, library, rock walls, and lots of people. The sun and wind warmed and cooled us simultaneously. Chad and I chatted happily as each of us buckled a child into her carseat. A few streets later we sat at a red light, all four of us quiet. Several things swirled through my head...

"Those were such great blueberry pancakes."
"I wonder how many creamers we used?"
"The girls were so good."
"I wonder what Laura is doing for her first Mothers Day."
"We can't forget to call our moms and grandmas today."

I remained silent and enjoyed the moment as it was. I soaked up the perfectness of the Sunday morning, my special day with my sweet family.

dirty play

A few days ago the girls and I came home from a long string of errands, one being grocery shopping. The girls were happy to run around in the yard while I unloaded the car. They continued to play while I put the groceries away in the kitchen. Ten minutes later I came outside to find a sullen Leah covered in black potting soil. Melody was full of shrieking glee, jumping around like a caffeinated cricket. She gets that way when she is doing something unruly to her sister. I told her dirt time was over and she instantly dissolved into sobs (thus the last photo.)

mothers day project

Yesterday I made a Mother's Day project for my mom, MIL, grandmas, and aunt. I was excited about showing them off until I saw the horrible photos I took. I apologize for such ugly, blurry, sad photos. I need to make myself read the manual on my newish camera. (Canon Powershot SD750 Elph -- any tips are welcome). I'm new to digital photography and definitely need some lessons.

The project was super fun for me to work on, until I ran out of scrapbooking paper. I made a trip to Walmart and bought a packet of paper to use for Leah's photos. I got home, opened the package of paper, and all my momentum and excitement for the project swirled down the drain. The paper was cheap and boring and Leah's little picture frames look lifeless next to Melody's. I would have made the 30 minute drive to the nearest Hobby Lobby if gas wasn't so expensive.

My friend Kelli came up this craft for Christmas ornaments. Each year I eagerly await her mail to see what Christmas card extraordinaire she has made by hand. Her framed family photo ornament outshines these that I made. She is more of craftsman than me.

some more spunky

Leah has a lot of spunk. Her little personality might have more spunk then Melody. Leah has lots of characteristics of my personality. She is more extreme than Melody. Have you ever met someone who was strong and feisty and sensitive at the same time? That is Leah and me. In junior high my friend's mom said to me, "Rebekah, you can dish it out but you can't take it." The comment hit me like a slap in the face. (Proving her point exactly.) I've never forgotten those words. They are so true. I have a feeling I'll be teaching Leah the same lesson someday. For now, we can enjoy the crazy face above. I always laugh when she puts her top teeth behind the bottom ones.

spunky necklace

I've been wanting to show everyone this photo for days. I took this picture in the middle of our spunky spell with Melody. She and I spent the morning making her new rainbow necklace. The outfit was not planned. Obviously. She demanded a dress but it was a cold day, so we compromised. She is such a hoot sometimes.

flickr

Check out my new flickr photos!

(I'm feeling much better after five days of Claritin and three nights of Tylenol PM.)

sick

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling terrible. Lightheaded, weak, exhausted, and achy. A sore throat developed as the day wore on. I spent the day trying to take it easy, which is challenging with two little ones. Melody and I napped together while Leah napped in her crib. I love napping with Melody. Her three year old body is so much bigger than the weightless newborn who used to sleep on my chest/tummy in the wee hours of the morning.

Tylenol helped me get through the day.

Last night I was worse, and this morning I thought I had strep throat. My ongoing challenge of deciding if I should go to the doctor or not began. Growing up my mom was the type to wait thing out. We were all pretty healthy so this approach worked well. Once in high school I suffered with the flu for a full seven days before we finally went to the doctor. I had bronchitis. (My first time.) A rumor started at school that "Rebekah Kotter's family doesn't believe in doctors."

Nice.

Back to today's happenings...

I decided to go to the doctor because it is Friday and I didn't want to suffer with worsening strep throat the the whole weekend. I loaded the girls up and we made the 35 minute drive to Fayetteville. (I could go to Siloam which is closer, but I prefer a Fayetteville group of doctors.) On the way there I responded to Melody's comments with a low, slow voice because I was really weak. I was lamenting the days when Chad was unemployed and able to help out with parental duties during the day.

We did the whole wait-for-the doctor in both waiting rooms thing. They did a strep test. Negative. I have the beginnings of a viral infection caused by allergies. (It makes sense because we spend the first three days of this week outside at the park and farmers market and I was not taking my claritin.)

$93 later we drove home, me still talking in my slow tired voice. Melody and Leah did great and once we got home, we all crashed for naps together. I'm watching the clock for the moment Chad will arrive home after a long two days.

another poop ball story

This morning I took the girls to the park. As we were playing Melody said with fervor, "I HAVE TO PEE!" I scooped her up and we jogged over to the public park restrooms. (Ick.) The women's was occupied. Mel said again, "I HAVE TO PEE!"

I made a split second decision and said, "Let's see if you can just pee on the grass right here by the wall." Hahahaha. She was wearing a long dress with leggings underneath. I took the leggings and panties all the way off and had her squat low. I held her dress out, to protect her from anyone's view. We stayed in that position for about 30 seconds. I said, "Did you go pee yet?" She responded with a low grunt, "I'm not peeing. I'm POOPING."

Right. Great.

Another 30 seconds went by before Melody popped up, ready to return to the playground.


"I POOPED!!! I POOPED!"

"Shhh!!! Okay. Don't say it again."

I pooped, I pooped, I pooped!!"

"OKAY, SHHH! I said don't say it again."

"But mommy, I pooped on the GRRAAAAASS!"


I send her running back to the playground (under the supervision of a friend within sight) and started the lovely task of transferring the poop ball pile into the restroom with wads of toilet paper. Fun, fun.

more mel sayings

Said from the couch to Chad as he walked in the front door, "Hey kiddo."

Said as she was jumping on the bed, "Mommy, I have so much energies."

Yesterday afternoon we were all working in the front yard. Melody was picking wild flowers. After a few minutes I began to worry about snakes in the tall grass of the wild flower area. We told her it was time to stop picking flowers and to come back to where we were in the yard. She was super upset to stop her activity. She said through tears about 25 times, "Daddy, why did you take away my job?" (We talk about 'jobs' a lot around here. This my Mommy's job. This is Daddy's job. This is NOT Melody's job. ie: washing Leah's hair in the tub, etc.)

One of my favorite Mel sayings is when she calls her sister, Leah Sagey. (Leah's middle name is Sage.)

some relief!

My mom is here today. She visits every other week. Today she is helping me retain some sanity. I'm hulled up on my bedroom. iTunes is playing loudly (to drown out the noise in the rest of the house). I have a painting spot set up in front of a window with the late morning sun pouring in. Coffee and water are within reach. I'm ready to create something!!!

I hope someday I can be the type of grandma that rescue's Melody and Leah in the midst of their crazy mommy/toddler days. I'm so thankful for my mom's help.... both emotional and practical. I only wish my MIL lived so close! She is an amazing grandma as well.

introducing....

Sally Jane Gowan!!! She was born today at 12:12. She weighs 7 pounds, 4 ounces and is 21 inches long. We are so proud of you Laura!!