Before the girls woke up this morning I skimmed my blog archives from 2003 & 2004. I read of feelings and events about which I had forgotten. For instance, what it was like to work full time. These posts lamented and glorified my job as a graphic designer. One of the most frequent subjects of the writings was the desire I had for a baby. When coworkers would have a baby, I'd cry with joy and sadness. Joy for the new life; sadness that it wasn't my own baby.
By midmorning today I was hot, sticky, tired, and frazzled with Melody and Leah. I began longing for the work days again. I stopped myself from sinking into a greener grass daydream. I held onto the memory of wanting babies when I didn't have them. It was a tug of war day.
Stage Of Life is a topic often discussed among moms. We sometimes feel stuck in the hard places of motherhood. I recall three years ago... My friend Britni had a baby who would cry at the top of his lungs the whole time they were in the car. She said with despair, "I will never be able to drive (30 minutes) to Fayetteville again." A more seasoned mom gently replied, "For now, for now, Britni. Eventually you will go to Fayetteville again." She was right. Now Britni's son is a three and a half year old. He is pretty chilled out most of the time.
It's so important to have people in our lives who remind us to stop and enjoy the stage of life we're in. For me, each stage of my adult life has been difficult, challenging, fun, rewarding, and fairly temporary. The difficulties and challenges are what make me a better person. And the fun and rewarding aspects are what get me through the hard days. Perhaps the most important thing is that each life stage is temporary.