snack city

I am thoroughly caffeinated this morning. I awoke at 5:00 in order to prepare for class tonight. I drank coffee and listened to Nora Jones as I worked. It was dark outside. The quiet state of the house was nice. It is time to begin teaching the second software program. This 5 week section will be the most challenging. I feel more prepared for this class than I have for the others. We will see.

Bible study was last night. I was in charge of snacks. Sunday I stayed up late making them. (See: blue bowl incident in the previous post.) Monday afternoon we squeezed in a Walmart trip for last minute items. We arrived at bible study 15 minutes late, stressed because we had the food. My arms were full, my cotton shirt wrinkled, my hair in my face. I walked into the amazing home with the highest ceilings I've ever seen. The kitchen counters were full of cupcakes, chips, cheese dip, homemade cookies, sodas and hot dogs. Elaborate autumn ceramic bowls and plates held the food. I had difficulty finding a place for my plain-clear-glass-casserole-dished items. My blue Walmart sack looked odd in the immaculate kitchen. I would not have signed up for snacks if I had known the hostess was going to serve enough food to feed 30 people.

The bright side:
We have lots of leftover bean dip and peach crisp to eat.

beloved blue bowl

The blue bowl is broken.

My husband's great grandmother's house is still full of her stuff. She has been gone for years. The house is on a farm in the country; no one lives there. When Chad and I were engaged we visited. His grandpa said we could have anything. We got six wooden chairs that might have been made by the great grandpa. We also got multiple kitchen items. A few fireking jadite plates, several colorful mugs, and a simple wooden rocking chair. My favorite items we got were a set of four mixing bowls. The largest is yellow, then green, red, and finally blue. The little blue bowl was my favorite one. I used it all the time.

Last night Chad and I got home from a weekend trip. It was 10:00. We were tired. I had to make snacks for a bible study we have tonight. I hurridly threw together a peach crisp as well as a yummy bean dip. ("Bean dip" sounds nasty, but this dish is awesome. It has sour cream, salsa, and tons of cheese in it. Someday I'll post my fav recipes.) I attempted to clean the kitchen as the dishes were baking. I moved fast, back and forth, back and forth, loading the dishwasher, wiping counter tops, throwing food back into the fridge. I rinsed the blue bowl and attempted to set it into the dishwasher. It flew from my soapy hands in slow motion. I let out a gasp as it smashed against the tile floor. I said, "ohhhhh no!" Chad was nearby at the kitchen table balancing the checkbook. He came over and hugged me as my covered my face with my hands.

In the midst of this "crisis" I knew it was just a bowl. I was still upset. It was special to me. It was over 100 years old. It survived generations of use. I dropped it because I was in a hurry. After sweeping up the pieces and throwing them away, I recuperated. I felt lucky for Chad's kindness. He understood my breakdown and comforted me in the midst of it. I will shop around at local flea markets for a replica of the broken bowl in order to keep the set whole.

This day is better. I am finally out of my funk. Probably because it is Friday. I didn't want to turn into one of those people who lives for the weekends. But here I am, singing the weekend song....

I am also happy because one of my work friends is going to have a baby. I eat lunch with two girls everyday, E and S. We go to E's house to get away from the office. For months E and I have been talking about babies babies babies nonstop. S, on the other hand isn't so keen on babies. She is on the pill. E and I are not. Guess who ended up pregnant? S of course! She is shocked, overwhelmed, giddy, and excited. E and I are estatic, overjoyed, and amazed. I am not jealous or envious in any way. This lack of darkness is a pleasant surprise. This is the right time for S. (Even though she's only been married for three months!) Of course I still worry. Questions pop into my head almost everyday.

"......If S got pregnant on the pill, and I haven't gotten pregnant OFF the pill, what does that mean about my body? Is it working? Will we end up adopting? Will I be an old parent.......?"

Despite the never-ending questions, I am happy. I am happy to be part of S's life right now. I'm happy to fill her water container with purified H2O. I'm happy to go maternity shopping with her. I'm happy to hear about how she's feeling and to hear about her name ideas. (She's sharing her ideas with us! None of that secret stuff.)

I am also happy because Chad and I are spending this weekend in Dallas. We're helping our friends move. The friends who I love. The ones from college who I feel 100% comfortable with. I am excited to work hard helping them move, clean, arrange, organize, and be in a new home.

Here I am... after over a week of no blogging. This lapse of time seems to be a trend in the circle of bloggers I know. Life is full. Blogging is not a necessity. I have been juggling too many other plates to include blogging in the mix. Now I have a few minutes of spare time so here I am...

Let's see what has happened:

Chad and I helped some friends move to a camp last weekend. It was awesome to get out of town. We enjoyed nature and being together. We had things to talk about. We dreamed about the future. We came back home depressed because of our jobs. We try to be content, but we're not satisfied. We want to be somewhere else. Ecaudor? The Buffalo River? Montana? My fear is that I'll be discombobulated at any of these other places, too. Where do we belong? What is our purpose? At least we have each other. This fact is a comfort.

I haven't written in over a week and I still don't have anything to say. The number one things on my mind lately are:

1. I hate traffic.
2. Flylady.net is helping me with me house.
3. My friend is having a baby and I'm jealous.
4. I'm dreading teaching my class tonight... it's getting worse.
5. I am in the mood to watch television.
6. I want to shop.
7. I think I need to exercise.
8. The weather is perfect. (This pisses me off cause I'm in a office ALL DAY LONG.)

This list is totally boring, so I'm stopping now.
I write again when there is something to say.

Last night while at a restaurant I watched a family at a nearby table. There was a toddler, a little baby, parents, and grandparents. The mommy was talking to her inlaws about her pregnancies. All the while, she was softly holding onto her baby boy's foot while he slept in his carseat next to her. My heart lurched. I swallowed, slowly pushing away tears. I turned to Chad; he could tell I was on the verge of crying. Confusion filled his eyes. Thirty seconds before I had been laughing at his humorous mood.

He hadn't noticed the family. I motioned toward them and said,
"Sometimes I want a baby so much I can't take it."

I had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. My husband and I stretched the three day weekend into a four day trip to Panama City, Florida. We went to visit my husband's childhood best friend, E. He is a fighter pilot in the Air Force. He's a bachelor and lives in a house on the water with two other pilots. They're conversations are full of military acronyms and fighter pilot lingo. It was captivating to listen to them talk.

At one point E said, "I have so much job satifaction flying the F-15 that if someone offered me 5 million dollars to do something else, I'd turn them down." Chad and I feel slightly different about our own jobs.

The four days were relaxing. It was perfect timing for us to get away. We've been incredibly busy for the past 6 weeks. Funerals, side jobs, home stuff, everyday duties, work, and on and on and on. I know everyone understands. When did life get so busy? we don't even live in a big city! How did this pace get ahold of us?

Back to the trip:
We slept in.
We spent time at the beach.
I read an easy girl novel.
I got a mild sunburn.
We ate out.
We went to the movies.
(We saw Open Range. The scenery was spectacular. I want to live in Montana.)
We watched tv.
We witnessed an amazing thunder storm.
We had Krispy Kreme donuts. (With coffee.)
We hot tubbed under the stars.
We held hands and kissed.

It was a wonderful weekend. I'm thankful today. I'm preparing for another class tonight. Last night was sleepless, dreamful, and restless. The cat bothered me until 1:00am when I finally got up to read and pray. I read a chapter in the new testament. It was my first time to read my bible in weeks. The words were familiar and boring, but they helped me get sleepy. I put the cat in the garage, turned the AC down 2 notches from the normal 77 degrees to 75. I finally slept. Although I woke again at 3:30 and slept anxiously until the alarm beeped at 5:45. Here I am at work, with the remains of an iced mocha from my fav coffee place. I treated myself this morning cause I 'deserved' it.

Catcha later!