8/16/2005

weight watchers and biting

Tonight I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I've always considered Weight Watchers to be a good method of weightloss. For a long time I knew it would be my "diet of chioce" if ever I decided to do something like that. It's time.

I was surprised by the large number of people in attendence; there were about fifty people present. The teacher was energetic, informative, and positive. I arrived 10 minutes late and had to squeeze into a row near the front. I felt extremely self consious because compared to the others I am not very big. I was surprised by how much courage it took to simply sit through the meeting. For some reason tears threatened to accumulate throughout the 45 minute gathering. I did not expect this surge of emotion.

I think the points method will help me be aware of mindless eating and empty calories. The first goal is to loose ten percent of one's current weight. That is 16 pounds for me. (I weighed in at 165.) If I loose 16 pounds I'll be at 149, which is close to my ultimate goal of 145. As a nursing mom I am allowed more points. This makes perfect sense, but I find myself resenting the fact that I need to eat more in order to breastfeed. The longer I breastfeed the more I realize how much self sacrifice it requires.

My expectation was to love breastfeeding. Many mothers rant and rave about how awesome it is. Now that Melody has teeth I am tense and nervous the whole time she eats. She bites me about three times a day and it HURTS so much. I yelp a loud "NO" which makes her sad for about half a second. Then she smiles as if to say, "You aren't really mad a me, Mommy... you love me. Remember?" I can't help but gather her tiny body close and smile as if to say back, "Yes. You are right. I love you with all my heart." And that is the reason I keep nursing.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

beck,
you are so courageous and strong and loving and sacrificing for little melody. you are a role model for me when i have kids. love you, sky

Ellen said...

Anna is "teething" on my boobs now. It's going to be hell when the teeth actually come in.

cjoy said...

A little trick I learned with B--the meal is over when they bite. We can try again in a short while, but there is no going right back to nursing after I say "No". A few times and he got the message real quick: that biting thing--mom doesn't like it, and my nursing time ends...hhmmmm...
(We could resume nursing a little while later if he was still hungry, but I found the biting usually didn't start until he was through with the serious part of his meal anyway.)

On another note, I'm so proud of you! You are doing good with the nursing, and no--it's deinitely not easy. Like any aspect of parenting, it's hard, but rewarding. My back is in constant agony these days thanks to sloppy midnight nursings and "short" boobs! haha. One part of me loves nursing her, but there is definitely the other side of it as well.

Good luck with Weight Watchers! I look forward to hearing how it goes.

SlushTurtle said...

Nursing is really HARD. I didn't expect it to be such a big deal when I had my son. I managed to do it for 3 months, but then I stopped because a) I need to take allergy medication every day to be a good person, let alone a good mother, and b) my son sucked so hard from the moment he left the womb that I was constantly in pain. Hopefully next time will be better.

I have done WW in the past and I think the best part is that you will always be adding up how many points something is, even if you aren't dieting. I never drink a soda without thinking "what a wonderful way to spend three points!"

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