A few posts back I talked about being fat. I did not think it would take me so long to loose my pregnancy weight. Many people have a saying, "Nine months on. Nine months off." I can recall even saying this very thing to others after they had their baby. Even though I spouted this advice, I didn't think it would apply to ME.
When I see a mom with a baby, I usually take note of her body. If she is thin I think things like,
"Maybe she has a trainer."
"Maybe she is the nanny, not the mom."
"Maybe she's just lucky."
"Maybe she works her butt off at the gym everyday."
I'm a tall girl. Without shoes, I'm 5' 9". I've been thin all my life. Before the pregnancy I weighted 150 lbs. Of course I wanted to be lighter by 10 or so pounds, but all in all, I was happy with the way I looked. I wore baggy clothes most of the time. Mens jeans, loose sweatshirts, baggy cargos, etc. Wearing things oversized made me feel comfy and wispy somehow. Occasionally I'd wear fitted jeans when Chad and I went on a date. Those times I felt sexy, but uncomfortable. Thankfully, he doesn't care what I wear. He rarely notices if I change something, so I stick with what's comfortable.
I gained 55 pounds during the pregnancy, topping out at 207. (!!!!) It felt strange to be over 200 pounds. At the end of the pregnancy I felt beauitful though. Everything was so round, which was pretty much the complete opposite of my usual body. Even my legs were round! I felt good. After Melody was born, I didn't feel good about the roundness anymore. I wanted it to be gone. I wanted to be one of those skinny moms. I didn't mind being a big pregnany person, but I did not like being a big non-pregnant person.
Melody is five and a half months now. I'm weighing in at 167 these days. I am finally starting to see the old Rebekah behind the round remnants of Pregnant Rebekah. I am thrilled to see her again. In the meantime I've been wearing massive Old Navy denim overalls everyday. I switch the shirts which brings a little variety, but the overalls are a constant. They hide my stomach and butt. These the two areas are the last to return to Normal Rebekah status. Sometimes I stare at my skinny wrist and long for the rest of my body to follow suit.
When I told a friend I thought 2005 was going to be my Fat Year, she corrected me and said, "No. It is simply going to be your Overalls Year." She was right. I doubt I'll quit wearing them until I'm 150 again. Then they will return to the back of my closet and wait for the next post pregnancy year. Next time a friend talks to me about her post pregnancy weight, I promise not to say, "You know what they say! Nine months on. Nine months off."
4 comments:
The saddest part is, I use to be a size 4 in 2000, yeah I had gained some weight you can't be a size 4 your whole life, so once my husband and i were together i had gone up to an 8 or 10. i was pretty satisfied with myself, who wants to see their collar bone stick out...... well now Felicity is 16 months old and I am still fat. Still a size 14 still just fat. Why? I am a more active person now than I ever was in my life before. I mean when i was a size 4 all i did was get drunk, I am physically active now...I don't know I don't know why. But yes I still look at mothers and think why are they so thin what happened to me. Sometimes I can't take my eyes off of them and i stare and think god why am I still like this.
I also am finding it very hard to lose my pregnancy weight and find myself comparing myself to other young moms. I thought that breastfeeding would take off more pounds faster than it has. Somedays it is discouraging. I am not a good dieter (not that I would diet while breastfeeding anyways).
I hear ya! Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone. A lot of people say that breast feeding takes the pounds right off, but I know some moms who said they lost the most weight AFTER they weaned. Who knows...
I am one of those new moms who was lucky - my little boy is 9 months and all my weight was gone by 2 months post-partum. I try to be relatively healthy (except for my huge addiction to SUGAR) and exercise some (but who has much time for that with a little one?) - I think a lot of the post-partum weight loss is genetics (?) ...
I think you look GREAT Bekah!!!
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