10/30/2003

little fire, shared cigar

Last night Chad built a fire on our back porch. He used his portable charcoal grill to contain the fire. My husband loves to build fires. He piddles, adds, rearranges, and pokes the entire time. I stare, relax, and think. We shared a cigar as we did our own fire thing. It was a Cohiba from Ecuador, thanks to my college friend, L, who lives in Quito. We passed it back and forth until there was half an inch left. Then we threw the butt into the fire so the dog wouldn't eat it.

It felt good to spend the eveing at home. One great thing about being busy and overwhelmed is that you treasure down time. Too much relaxation results in boredom. It was great to soak up an evening at home.

10/29/2003

fast week

It is already Wednesday. The week is flying.
My positive attitude and motivation are waning. I came back from my trip so high. It didn't take long for the combination of lack of sleep and the pressures of work & teaching to push my emotions over the edge. Last night Chad and I sat in a corner booth at our favorite local mexcian restaurant. He drank horchata (a sweet rice drink) and I nibbled on chips. He listened to me tell about my day. As I neared the end of the day's events tears starting falling. I dabbed my face, careful to avoid the new nose ring. He listened and held my hand across the table as I went on. When I finished talking and crying he prayed. Usually his prayers are super short -- one or two lines at the most. But his words lasted longer last night. He asked God to give me strength, confidence, and hope.

Today has been a little better. I recognize and appreciate the good things in my life.
The trick is balancing the good stuff with the things that drive me crazy. I am learning. Tonight is going to be all about home, the couch, the fire place, leftovers, and just BEING.

10/27/2003

a new week & a new look

I am refreshed. The trip to Vancouver did wonders for my attitude at work. I am happy to be home. I have outtles of work today. My desk is a mountain of job folders. Lots of things came up in the three days I was gone. Normally the changes would have sent me through the roof -- huffing, puffing, ranting, raving, griping -- you get the picture. Instead I am okay. I'm happy. I remember the reasons I like working at this company. I remember the awe and relief I experienced in my first weeks here, almost three years ago. Day in & day out of being here had made me forget. Being away at the conference reminded me of the reasons I like my job. I have real purpose here. I will make the changes to my almost-finished Fathers Day cards without complaining. There is a good reason for the changes and I believe in the end they will be better cards.

In other news, I got my nose pierced while in Vancouver. It is something I've wanted to do for over 2 years. I like my nose. I found a clean, sterile, professional place to have the piercing done. They had the jewel I've always wanted... a tiny silver stud with a saphire (light blue) jewel in the center. My college friend/fellow designer, Brian, went with me. He let me squeeze his hand as the lady put the needle through my nostril. It hurt like the dickens. As we walked away from the shop -- I was actually skipping I think -- I told him, "Thank you so much for being my moral support! I feel like giving you $100 dollars."

THANKS BRIAN! :)

Chad likes the change. I knew he would. We had discussed it many times. He likes a little bit of punk here and there. It is exciting to have a change. Something new.

10/25/2003

the end of the conference

Here I am. At the AIGA Conference, in Vancouver, my new favorite city. I am sitting in convention center Hall 1. The mainstage speaker has on HUGE glasses like the ones I wore in 6th grade, 15 years ago. I don't understand.

The conference has been a disappointment to me. The word "sustainability" has been the center of each speech and event. I have no problem with the environmental agenda, but I do not understand what it has to do with graphic design. I was hoping to see examples of design inspiration -- logos, book covers, magazine spreads, posters. Instead I've listened to bio-chemist talk about the population levels of foreign countries and philisophy professors talk of the ethical implications of the latest scientific experiments. I am not inspired. I am depressed.

The trip has been a success though. I am here with two design-friends. We have explored Vancouver together. Our discoveries have resulted in much inspiration. Specialty paper/card shops, funky shoe stores, a metal furniture store, Granville Island's former industrial district, temperate rain forests, the Pacific bay, harbors full of boats, wonderful coffee, the Rockies, and multiple restuarants have brought brightness and wonder back into my job. I am grateful for the opportunity for such inspiration.

Thanks to Brian (one of the design friends) for working out my html bugs. I am excited to continue posting on a regular basis. Apologies for the laspe between posts.

10/03/2003

at home today

I am posting from home today. The house is dark. It is a rainy day. I have choice windows open in order to hear the rain sounds. My plan for today was to tackle the house. It's been weeks since the washer and dryer have been used and since the bathrooms have been cleaned. I decided a personal day was in order. Work can wait. (I'm so thankful for a job that makes it easy to take a day off. My previous job wasn't that way. I'd approach the big man with fear and trembling just to ask for a few hours off. The card company I work for now is all about family, priorities, and balance. I just say, "I'll see you guys on Monday. I'm taking tomorrow off." It is amazing.)

So the plan was -- I'd get up super early and tackle the house. Clean like a maniac. Hmp. 7:00 rolled around. Chad got up. I told myself, "I'll get up when he gets out of the shower." Nope. "I'll make him breakfast. No, he'll want donuts..." Chad said goodbye and headed to work. I stayed in bed. Finally at 8:30 I got up. I made half a pot of coffee and grabbed my laptop. I am happy to sit here in the dark, still waking up, listening to the rain. Who cares if the house doesn't sparkle. I am enjoying this time alone. The quietness is sweet. Life gets so loud and fast. People, people, people. I guess this is one of the rare days when I enjoy solitude. The need to be alone rarely hits me, although the older I get, the more I crave it.

at home today

I am posting from home today. The house is dark. It is a rainy day. I have choice windows open in order to hear the rain sounds. My plan for today was to tackle the house. It's been weeks since the washer and dryer have been used and since the bathrooms have been cleaned. I decided a personal day was in order. Work can wait. (I'm so thankful for a job that makes it easy to take a day off. My previous job wasn't that way. I'd approach the big man with fear and trembling just to ask for a few hours off. The card company I work for now is all about family, priorities, and balance. I just say, "I'll see you guys on Monday. I'm taking tomorrow off." It is amazing.)

So the plan was -- I'd get up super early and tackle the house. Clean like a maniac. Hmp. 7:00 rolled around. Chad got up. I told myself, "I'll get up when he gets out of the shower." Nope. "I'll make him breakfast. No, he'll want donuts..." Chad said goodbye and headed to work. I stayed in bed. Finally at 8:30 I got up. I made half a pot of coffee and grabbed my laptop. I am happy to sit here in the dark, still waking up, listening to the rain. Who cares if the house doesn't sparkle. I am enjoying this time alone. The quietness is sweet. Life gets so loud and fast. People, people, people. I guess this is one of the rare days when I enjoy solitude. The need to be alone rarely hits me, although the older I get, the more I crave it.

My second cup of coffee is gone. It is time to clean. Thanks for reading!